The GUNNY'S SACK
May 2001
On the National Enquirer's syndicated TV show, our Oregon A.I.M.
biker-lawyer, Sam Hochberg, saw a reporter run a piece about how
popular Vespas are getting again, and that all these stars, like
actor Dennis Franz (NYPD BLUE), hockey great Wayne Gretzky, and
some other celebrities have them. Seems they can run $3,000 and
up! I'm afraid those things are a little small for large economy-sized
folks like me. Top speed is like 30mph. But ''hitting a little
road bump is like finding religion,'' sez the TV host while riding
one! Sam says he's ridden them on vacations a few times, and never
could get the feel of the things. Says his Sporty is small enough.
And big enough. You can STILL find a running old Ironhead Sporty
for not much more than $3k in the Northwest, and there are lots
of other makes around for even less that still have a lot of good
miles in them.
NEWS BITS'N PIECES:
NEW YORK: Those of us that have been around the block two or three
times will remember the pop group The Village People. They did
songs like ''YMCA'' and ''MACHO MAN.'' The Biker of the group,
Glen Hughes, has succumbed to lung cancer at the tender age of
50. They had a good show but faded by the nineties. The biker
character was a pretty good imitation, although I kinda doubt
what I think was his ''orientation'' is real common among bikers,
at least the guys I know.
DHAKA, Bangladesh: There are a few times when a cage is best.
Try riding a bike through a war zone. Sometimes you're better
off on a bike, if you're TRAINED for it by your military. A young
journalist in Bangladesh was taken off his bike and set upon by
some folks unhappy with his writing. He was worked over with baseball
bats, iron bars, and boots then his writing arm was slashed. The
moral here is BE CAREFUL what you print. I sure as hell am.
BERLIN: Now here's a fine tradition from a town in Germany that
I wouldn't mind seeing here in the US of A. Every year since 1988,
bikers in Niederssachsen, Germany have a parade to remember bikers
killed on the road during the previous year. This year, 10,000
bikers joined in. This story came halfway around the globe to
reach us -- it's from a copyrighted story from China's Xinhua
news agency. These people even had a mourning service to remember
those brothers and sisters.
NEW YORK: Harley-Davidson is getting an award for the marketing
of their products -- they've been elected to the prestigious Marketing
Hall of Fame, sponsored by New York's American Marketing Association.
Hey, how many other products have their names tattooed on people?
Even products that have become synonymous with their brand --
when's the last time y'saw a guy with ''Kleenex'' or ''Xerox''
tattooed on 'em? Man I could go on and on with this one.
NEW YORK AGAIN: Even the Liner Queen Elizabeth II is getting on
the "I love Bikers" list. Now you can stow your scoot
along with you. The QE-II has a garage to haul cars and motorcycles.
Talk to the Cunard line for more. Bet it would be fun if I had
the bucks to do it. I understand they have a two-for-one deal
right now. You have to call the Carnival cruise guys for more.
I got this number for a Julie Davis: 305-463-3388. I guess Cunard
owns the QE-II now. Not only can guests attend lectures by ambassadors,
authors, historians and oceanographers, but they also can play
with computers, play bridge, and take art and dance lessons. They've
got sporting activities and drama classes. I can see it now. Representatives
of all the Confederations of Clubs in the USA taking this trip
in their standard black leather on this ship with some of the
MONEYED SET. WOW! WHAT A HOOT!
COLD SPRING, Minn: Now here's a story about some ''stone bikers.''
As millions pay their respects this Memorial Day, Mel Lommel,
general manager of Royal Melrose Granites, a division of Cold
Spring Granite Company here, says they notice the increasing numbers
of unusual tombstones that show a trend: People want to leave
a more declarative stamp on their lives than just their names
and dates carved on stone. Some are doing it with bikes. Guitars,
pianos, cars, motorcycles, snowmobiles, bicycles, cats, dogs,
footballs and wildlife and hunting scenes are among the stuff
carved in stone. Sounds just like what a real rich biker might
do. Just give my scoot to some poor guy that needs it and can't
afford to buy one cause he's feedin' kids and pour a bottle of
good old ''Gentleman Jack'' over me. Just, PLEASE don't run it
through yer kidneys first.
ALBANY, N.Y. Here's help for some downed bros from a different
kind of HOG. Fetal pig cells were injected into the spine of a
50-year-old quadriplegic biker in an experimental procedure that
hospital officials say was the first of its kind. Should work.
Bikers are one of a kind too. In an Associated Press story, the
biker was quoted as saying ''If it doesn't work, it doesn't work,
but it's something. I'm not getting any younger.'' If it was me,
I'd do it in a minute. If it works, the cells will grow and create
a new connection in the biker's spine. If electric impulses can
again flow from his brain, they could send signals to the muscles
and maybe let him to walk again. Eleven days after the procedure,
the biker said he still felt nothing in his arms and legs. Maybe
pigs are good for something besides Ham and Bacon. Lets hope it
works, the good it can do is limitless.
ENGLAND: Another biker chased to death. We've seen it before,
folks. This time, in England. This isn't just a U.S. problem brothers
and sisters. It's worldwide. At least in this case, the officer
in the accident was suspended from driving duties during the investigation.
I just hope investigations in England are more open minded than
they are sometimes in the USA. Here's how it went down: The death
of a motorcyclist happened when he was being followed by a patrol
car. The biker, believed to be a man in his forties from Fareham,
Hampshire, died after coming off his trail bike in Swivelton Lane,
Fareham, as he was being followed by police after he failed to
stop in nearby Portchester. The biker was dead at the scene.
Deputy Chief Constable Ian Readhead said: ''We would like to express
our sincerest condolences to the family of the man who died.''
I would think that's the very least they could do.
Another BIKER BOOK CORNER: I'll have more on this next month from
Sam Hochberg, but I want to let people know that a good guy here
in Portland, Jim Redden, wrote ''SNITCH CULTURE,'' from Feral
Press. Just came out in paperback. Gotta be a must-read. If you
read it and can give me a short review, email me at AIMGunny@aol.com,
or ship it to Sam, SamBikeLaw@aol.com.
We'll try to Sack it.
GUNNY AGAIN: I'll report on the National Coalition of Motorcyclists
(NCOM) Convention in next month's issue. Remember our A.I.M. (Aid
To Injured Motorcyclists) attorneys are always as close as a telephone
if, God forbid, you go down. They are here to help us and they
ride too. They know what's going on our roads. Nationally, call
toll free 1-800-ON-A-BIKE. In Oregon, Call Sam Hochberg at 503/224-1106
or 1-800-347-1106. Avoid the wreck and Ride Safe, okay?
Keep the round side on the bottom.
Gunny, Oregon AIM Chief of Staff